


The Light Within The Dark Tunnel

by Crisisboss



Category: Saints Row
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, No Sex, No Smut, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-02 10:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5244548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crisisboss/pseuds/Crisisboss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The saints Boss goes around looking for Matt but he is no where to be found as the boss "desperately" looks for him but for what purpose?</p><p>* REVAMPED* reedited it is better than it was before enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Issue #3

**Author's Note:**

> This a story I made back in wattpad in 2015. I revisited it and read it, I cringed.  
> I rewritten both chapters. 
> 
> My wattpad username is Crisisboss as well.
> 
> It is the very first fanfic I ever posted, I have others in progress. 
> 
> Issue #3 revamped enjoy

" MILLER!" Irritation was heard, the very voice looks at Asha. 

"Asha where the hell is Matt?!" The source of frantic and irritable voice belonging to none other than the boss of the Third Street Saints. She walks around, thrashing her way frantically looking for the cyberpunk. 

" Everyone find me Matt right this instant!" Her voice full of authority a manner in which you shouldn't challenge her orders. 

The saints hearing the boss' order looked at each other, then back at their boss. Pierce, Benjamin and Johnny look at each other a silent agreement "Poor kid", they did as the boss order.  
Each wondering what has he done to infuriate the boss, to seal his fate, to die in her hands. 

On the other hand, Shaundi and Kinzie weren't really phased, rather they found the whole situation irritable themselves and wanted it to be dealt with as soon as possible, their plans being placed on pause for one of the boss' whims thanks to Matt. That alone made the two female want to kill the young brit themselves. 

Keith and CID, were neutral. Keith would halt things to see things don't escalate more than necessary unless proven otherwise, for now he sought no sides but to solve the given predicament the boss currently has. CID would just want things to be done with so he could be back to his room or even better to the simulation to be with Fun Shaundi. What happens after Matt were to be found were none of his concern, if he were to find him, he would ask the boss for what would he get in exchange for giving her the information to lead her to him. Otherwise he could care less. 

Whilst Asha, the Super spy was rather concerned for her protégé, she tried to calm the boss as best as she could. To reason with her and to find what was the problem between her and her partner, while buying Matt time if he were around. Along with the rest of the Saints' thoughts, they assumed the worse that what boss wanted from Matt, is his demise was all they concluded. If it were to come to it Asha will fight and protect Matt from the boss, after years having Matt as her handler she will defend him, even if it's the boss herself. 

The look for the young brit went on, the saints searched the ship, throughly each splitting up to inspect every area they could think of. 

The boss was growing impatient, she was at a Cargo Bay where Matt had basically claimed his area. She kicked a couple of boxes that were littered around as it is causing few items to spill over. Few cargo shipment was then thrown across the ship walls whilst a loud Matt bellowed from the boss. 

Pierced jumped and looked at the boss "girl chill" whatever Matt may have done, it couldn't have been so bad for their boss to be this bad. 

" Theres no time for these trivial things boss" Benjamin added 

She brushed their comment, ignoring their advice. She looked around Cargo Bay a couple of times, three to five times. She rubbed her temples, he was no where, suddenly gone without a trace and it annoyed her. 

The boss and the crew checked every nook and cranny to even slightly cracked walls to find any sign of the young hacker, but nothing turned up. In the end the crew started to see no point in continuing the search.

Kinzie was the first to leave, she retreated to the simulation room proceeding with her coding and hacking the simulation protocol as per usual. 

Shaundi soon followed, she went to the control room, Keith stopped shorty after. One by one each Saint stopped leaving the boss to search for herself. One thing they all agreed. No one knew where Matt was. 

Matt was hidden, a previous self discovery he found behind the many cargo in Cargo Bay a secret room. It had a small opening, upon entering he could seal it shut blending the door like the rest of the ships wall. He hadn't told anyone yet thinking of making it his private dominan to not be bothered. He had previously accommodated the room with few furnished chairs and tech to keep him occupied.

He hadn't expected that the room shortly after discovering few days prior that it will end up being his safe place.

The moment he heard boss yell he darted into his little sanctum. It has proven to be a very effective hiding place. Hearing the boss linger around Cargo bay couple a times and haven't discovered him was a huge breather for the hacker. Hearing her bellows, cargo flying, boxes knocked around, it really frighten him despite knowing he hadn't done a thing to infuriate her, he didn't take his chances with her and stayed hidden.

He was cowering despite feeling some form of safety, his paranoia of what if the boss found him and hurt him or worse kill him. Images of Killbane resurfaced as how he was treated and seeing Kiki die in front of his eyes. He was shaking but never made a noise. Frighten he may be he wouldn't utter a peep. 

Even when Asha was alone without the boss, he never left the safety of his little sanctum he couldn't risk it.

Hours soon passed and the saints were doing what they usually did before their day was interrupted into a witch hunt for the old decker leader. 

Boss was in Cargo bay yet again, she scoffed and kicked the old worn out vintage couch. A click of her tongue was heard, a sigh followed shortly after. 

" Tck, I must have scared him off" she brushed her fingers through her tyrian locks of hair. 

" Of course he'd be scared, what was I thinking screaming and making a ruckus it will get his attention in a negative matter." She pursed her lips and scrunched her eyebrows in frustration. 

" Doesn't matter, he rarely speaks to me outside the simulation unless necessary. He doesn't seen to like being near me. Can't blame him I am rather unpredictable." All she wanted was to talk but she made things blow out of proportion her plans, backfiring. 

"Don't know why I'm doing this but he'll enjoy this more than me" digging into her space one piece suit, she pulls out an item and placed it on the couch. She later leaves hard clicks of her heels as she walked away, becoming faint until it no longer was audible. 

Half an hour later Matt decided it was safe enough to leave his little sanctum. Hearing things have been clear for so long, he took a chance. Upon getting out he checked around to be sure no one was around to surprise him. There was no one but him. 

Matt soon makes his way to his usual spot the couch, nearing towards the destination he could clearly see something on it that he hadn't left before. Upon getting his hands on it to better inspect the object, it was a comic book. But not just any comic book but a Nyteblade comic book, but not just any Nyteblade comic book, it was the rare hard to get issue # 3 Nyteblade comic.

Matt was ecstatic, almost jumping holding the hard to get issue #3 the comic he become the very thing he lived to hunt, it had many extra background and extra facts that was never seen or made it to the tv serie version. Back when earth was alive and he was at his finest no matter how hard he tried the hacker couldn't find traces for the comic, he could find and get all other issues even the first of the series but not #3. It had gotten on his nerve on all futile attempts before, but seeing this comic and noticing it has been signed but the original authors made the comic extra special.

Matt was soaring through the clouds overjoyed, finally holding the desired comic to his collection. Suddenly all he halts, a relaxation hitting him. 

" How did boss get her hands on this?" Anither came to his mind, could all the commotion the boss created was to hand him this? If so why? It puzzled Matt.


	2. Face it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will see the boss' thoughts in this chapter

Leaving the comic book on the couch she knew eventually Matt will see it. He will go to his couch, his spot or domain as he would tell her. He claimed the area as his own once releasing him from the confinement of the simulation prison Zinyak had him in. 

She sighed questioning her desperate eagerness to hand Matt the Nyteblade comic. 

She pondered her actions and what she felt, she could have just walked to him like any civil person and hand the dumb comic book anyway, but instead she made a fool of herself, despite it she was feeling excited of thinking of showing him the comic. 

Why was she so excited? The idea of his face lighting up upon having his hands on the comic made something inside her stir, a strange wave of emotions. A slight blush decorates her pale ivory skin. 

She knew he'd love it, the thought of possibly seeing him squeal while having his fanboy moment of his precious Nyteblade obsession, it made her hold a hand to her chest of just the image alone did things to her. 

She was perplexed. 

" What is this... Do I-I" she shook her head furiously, a slight chuckle escapes her holding her head. 

What a deceiving idea, her L-L? The mere thought made her laugh. It doesn't exist such a word is a farce, mere fabrication for an excuse to have sex. That's it, humans only desire one thing and that's sex, they lust for each other and become fools just for the act of quenching their carnal desire for one another. LOVE doesn't exist, it is nothing but a lie, a pretty white lie that end up hurting you in the end, just to realize your were played. 

If such a thing exists, why HIM of all people? 

No one would like a "Monster" such as herself a sociopath, that's has done many damage. Especially to Matt, they were once rival gangs after all. 

Looking at herself, she scowls at her image reflected on the mirror in front of her; anger, disgust, regret, a hint of sorrow hid beneath pastel pink eyes. 

She was nothing, often questioning why the Saints cared for her so much. She has noted the plausibility of bringing them to the top and a place to call home but that aside, what redeemable qualities did she have? She was insane, an asshole but most of all broken, she played no favorites and rarely showed her compassion in front of them.

Worst of all she lost members on her watch, Lin, Carlos and Aisha they didn't deserve such a fate. 

Matt, he is far from innocent he has done horrible things in the safety of his computer, but he is the most sane of them all, the one who avoid unnecessary conflict, prefers to not get in physical confrontations. Least likely to kill just for laughs. 

His wings are unmarred, pure, clean while hers was tainted with blood, charcoal, tattered and charred. 

Tears slowly form, cheeks becoming moist from the slow cascading tears. Tears she was not aware that were shedding, until her vision blurred. She furiously wiped her tears away. 

" YOU CAN'T CRY!" She says exasperatedly. 

Clutching her head with her hands. Someone such as herself doesn't deserve to cry. People suffered and died in her hands, she didn't deserve the luxury to cry and feel comfort for the things she has done. She's a "monster", a monster can't have the same  
Luxurious as others. 

Her attention soon was turned to the sound of knocking from the bedroom door. She quickly rinsed her face with cold water, slapped her cheeks to calm herself and quickly dried her face with a towel. 

She made her way to the door wondering who would suddenly bother her. Opening the door it was him, the person invading her thoughts. Matt Miller. 

He was perplexed, the boss giving him a comic book, but not just any comic book a Nyteblade comic, something everyone knew he adored. Something he was always very expressive about. How did she get her hands on this issue? Not only that but why was she so desperate to give him the comic in such a manner. 

He paced around to and fro the Cargo bay trying to concoct and formulate any logical explanation. After a couple of minutes ticked by nothing came to mind, no surprise. The boss after all was harder to decipher than any program software he has encounter thus far, even the Zintec was a walk in the park compared to her.

Her unpredictability was very outlandish, one moment she was perfectly fine the next an idea came to her and to follow through with it, her whims each time weirder than the next. 

Often times she doesn't show much emotions, except for anger and vengence. It lead Matt to believe she was a heartless killing machine, but the thought was later thrown out of the equation when the event of retrieving Johnny unfolded, when he decided to say that the idea was a horrible thing. She punched him, sure, but her eyes didn't just read anger, it held anguish, sorrow and regret.

Even so as those days long gone, he did not regret adding his two cent after all their lives were going to be in jeopardy for a man he never met. He knew she cared and was desperate, that alone lead him to know she wasn't as heartless as he thought.

He thought she possibly harbored feeling for Johnny after all the length she went for him wasn't something she'd do for just anyone but someone you love. The other Saints would tell him, they go way back then, they were the original Saints back when the boss wasn't well Boss. 

He didn't buy such excuses of course, going with his theory of her loving johnny seeming like the most logical answer. 

Although yes nothing has transcended between them, it will eventually. He shook his head to forget about that, what the boss did and who she ends up with doesn't concern him. 

Even so a strange feeling was there, the idea of her being with another did bother him a bit. He couldn't lie he did feel a hint of attraction to her the moment he saw her back at Steelport through the surveillance cameras. Even so, it didn't matter he brushed those feelings aside he knew he had no shot with her anyway. 

Going back to the original train of thought prior, he had to put his mind at ease, he needed an answer for her actions today. So his best option was to ask her himself, to confront her. What's the worst that could happen. He tensed up and shook his head. He rather not think of the possibilities he didn't need it answered. 

After a few minutes of planning his speech, how to present himself to her, monologuing to himself the whole situation, he finally mustered his courage and made his way to the Boss' room. It was where she could be he assumed. 

He knocked once, twice, thrice. He waits patiently, nothing happened yet. He pondered whether or not to knock again, he raised his hand to knock when he heard shuffling in the background. He retracted his hand putting it by his side, he was hoping she wasn't there. He was going to call it a quits and escape back to his couch and forget the ordeal. Sadly he was already there he had face the music, he couldn't chicken out now can he? Or could he?

He shook his head "No Matt now is not the time to cower away. Think about Nyteblade, what would he do in this situation. He would not cower and have his tail between his legs, no he would comfort the situation head on! That's it Matt confront it. Be like Nyteblade" his mind trying to motivate the young brit. 

All assurance flung through the none existent window the moment the door open, cyan eyes meeting pastel pink ones. The young hacker almost looked down to avoid staring at her but he stood himself firmly.

" Yes, is there something that requires my time, if not go away" she said a monotone voice, bored of their conversion even before hearing what he had to say. 

"W-Well.. u-u-uh.. you see... I just wanted to..." a stuttering mess

"Today Matt, I don't have all day" she interrupts 

Matt clears his through and adjusted his collar.

" Boss, I don't want to come off insensitive or more of an asshole than usual that you and many know seen already. Anyways that's besides the point, I wanted to know how did you get your hands on this Nyteblade comic issue #3 but also why were you so in a rush to give it to me Boss?"

Matt coughs soon looks down a bit then back up, he fidgets his feet. A minute has past between the two in awkward silence. He was about ready to leave and forget the ordeal feeling as though losing his time to get a straight answer from her. 

" It was given to, very long ago as one of my birthday gifts. I kept it out of acceptance for the time and thought giving me a gift not because I truly liked it. I thought it was better to give it to you instead.. you would have better use for it than myself" 

" it still doesn't explain why you were screaming like banshee for me, ready to maim the moment you laid your hands on me"

Matt tensed up upon realizing what he had said, he winced mentally knowing he went a tad too far calling the boss a "banshee". 

He looked at her anticipating a fist to his face but nothing came, he did she her eye twitch a bit a clear sign her patience running thin. She signed and opened her mouth. 

" I personally don't know, all I wanted to do the moment I found the comic and hand it in my grasps... was to hand it to you rather immediately." She scrunched her brows and sighed

" I don't know, I suppose it would have made you happy... smile... Uh I don't know just fuck off. You didn't hear anything" the boss rapidly slammed the door shut. 

Matt looked at the door bewildered, feeling more puzzled than before, instead of having things answered more questions were being concocted faster than it was being answered. Why did she what him happy and see him smile.

Her back hit the back of the closed door behind her and starts sliding down across the door, sitting down she puulls her legs close to her. She was lost confused and angry at herself. Her instinct yelled to hold Matt closed to her to be near, something she hasn't felt in forever ever since Carlos. 

She pondered the thought "could it be..." she shook her head and covered her face on her knees. It isn't love, she loves no one, they are just moods and just spur of the moment from the sudden change of events that they all suffered. Could the thought of dying or anxiety of what to do after Zinyak is taken down, what next? Yeah just mixed emotions from all the bad events she had endured . 

She looked up and laughs, nothing out of the ordinary for her, it'll be forgotten in a few days another whim of hers. She reassured herself. She picked herself off the floor making her way towards her bed. Things will be back to normal tomorrow, well as normal as possible to their given predicament.

She awoke the next day, what she assumed to be the next day, after all living in space makes you lose the notion of time, you can't tell whether it's night or day, nor tell if hours passed or a day. She gets up strips herself of the clad one piece space suit, to shower and freshen herself up. The water washing away her worried and thoughts revitalizing her. 

She heads downstairs once she finished her quick shower, hair still slightly soaked but it doesn't phase her, she made her way to the kitchen to see what she could make herself to eat. She checked the kitchen and as per usual nothing, just the strange silver colored energy drink like food. It was rather revolting, lacked flavor and had a musky lingering after taste, even so it was still something after all it was better than nothing in your system. 

No food means no energy, no energy would result in her getting weak and exhausted in which case both are bad for her virtual self as well it effects her mental capabilities. 

Much to her infinite debate and to her dismay she uncapped the putrid concoction of "food" and drank it in one go to avoid tasting it as long as possible. She soon gags the aftertaste reaching to her, she has tried many repugnant things back at earth, but nothing tops the liquid she is currently trying to swallow. She inhaled and summoned the needed willpower to finish this putrid drink without hurling.

After that colorful event she decided to check the simulation, once there she could easily see Kinzie asleep on the keyboard snoring lightly. She chuckled slightly seeing the woman always saying she needed no sleep and that "sleep is for the weak." She smiled slightly and shook her head deciding to leave the ginger alone she didn't need a cranky Kinzie on her case, not yet anyway. 

While walking out she concluded it was either really early in the day or very late at night. So she decided to check if any other are also sleeping, after passing through corridors seeing lack of saints it meant that they are indeed sleeping. 

She later decided to walk towards Cargo bay to possibly see if she could get a beer or two to wash away the foul aftertaste of her late night snack or early morning breakfast. Upon entering not giving off that she was there, she saw Matt was awake typing on his keyboard absorbed in his little world as usual.

She grinned presuming that Matt was writing fanfics about Nyteblade like the geek that he was, a sudden burst of laughter escapes her the thought of "cute dork" coming into mind. 

Her laughs died down quickly and looked at Matt, he was looking at her, she caught his attention something she wasn't planning to do. He must be wondering what she's doing standing there and laughing all of a sudden. 

In audible "Shit" escapes her mouth, she walks out in a rush to avoid him and his formulating questions. She ran, although there was nothing to run from she felt anxious and strange something in her was wrong. She's been acting weird lately, it's been so sudden that it leaves her mind shaken. 

Was her mind playing a game with her? Is life playing a sick joke on her is Karma finally catching up to her? Whatever it was she just felt that she needed to be away from Matt to avoid him to leave a great distance between them. Feeling cornered it was the best option. 

It was easier than she expected to avoid him, a small ship she thought she'd have a harder time avoiding the British hacker. Though kinzie noticed the boss' refusal to have Matt around once she's in the simulation. 

Though all that effort was up timed and gone by day 5, Matt confronts her, a new found courage she never knew Matt could possess, it phased her she couldn't lie. It shook her slightly, Matt Miller the old decker leader, her old rival the very one that would cower away just yelling and slightly threatening him, who always runs away from danger, and physical altercations. Is in front of her looking down at her firmly standing his ground not backing down. 

His intentions apparent, he was going to pry the Information from her. 

" Ever since that incident and our little chat you've been avoiding me, why?" He asks. 

She stays quiet looking at him, her mind flooded with all the whys that she had just as him, she also was Confused. The fact he's trying to make her speak didn't bother her it only it only further fustrated her. 

" Why can't you give me a clear answer boss, are you hiding something?" He insists on hounding me down but my anger finally wins. 

"JUST SHUT UP!" I yell out of frustration rather than being angry at him. Matt 's eyes widen, he's bravado dissipating. But I continued on.

"First of all fuck you, you're no one to demand answers from me. Secondly why would you care what I think and do, I am not sure of it myself what makes you think you'll know better than me! Thridly.." my mouth was running on its own accord " I feel weird being around you, my chest feels strange.. Images of your cheerful face... fuck forget it!" She looked away briefly but looks back at him.

His eyes looked at her with astonishment, at that moment she thought it was better to turn on her heels to escape to her room, having no energy to deal with the emotionally draining event that transpired between the two, she couldn't handle what he could say her heart wouldn't handle anymore she feels vulnerable. Something she hasn't felt in years and she both hate it and loved it furthering her confusion. 

She locked herself in her room for the reminder of the "day."

Time passed, as if a week for her, but it was probable that it was less yet again she lost notion of time to know anyway. It's been long since she has heard from Matt she has assumed he have given up or didn't want to see her after finally getting the answers he so desperately wanted. 

She was laying on the bed staring at nothing but the gray ceiling of the ship. The slight hum and bzz from the ship to the slight rocking motion helped relax her and her mind go blank, suddenly a knock to her room was heard. 

"Doors open" she says expecting maybe kinzie for simulation buisness or even Shaundi to force her ass way from the confinements of her room to even Pierce to keep tabs on her. But one quick glance and all predictions coming out wrong. It was the very man invading her mind. The one she least expected walked in. 

She stood up from her bed but said nothing. Although it would be better to act as if nothing happened to benefit the both of them. Matt cleared his throat catching her attention. 

" Look, it is obvious that I am probably the person you'd least like to see after what happened. I know in part I shouldn't have pried and force you to answer me truthfully, it was wrong on my part." He stopped and looks at her to see if she wanted him to stop or any anger fits but nothing, seeing silence and compliance he took it as he could continue.

" I should have been patient and given you time to tell me when you were ready. Even though I should have I couldn't let it go, I can't just act like that never happened. Furthmore with the slight chance that the Boss of the third street saints my old rival could have a possibility to harbor feelings for me, Matt that "Punk kid" the coward, everyone mocks and laughs, the left over the second choice." He sighed and continued

" I've been confused, all I can think is about you as of late, I can't lie or act that I haven't been puzzled, stumped by all this. So hear me out." He paused and looked around to further collect his thoughts. A simple gesture threw the boss in an inner turmoil.

She braces herself for rejection or the pity and apologizing for not feeling the same as her, all of them will take a huge toll on her emotionally and she wasn't sure how she'll handle, she wouldn't blame him, there's nothing redeemable about her. Her attention snaps back to the raven haired man in front of her once she heard him take a breath as he was preparing what he was about to say. 

" I Matt Miller, Like you boss" he was nervous, shifted around a bit. 

For her those simple words took awhile to decipher and digest through her mind, once it sunk in the boss' demeanor changed drastically, a nervous mess. 

" Wh-What?!" She managed to stutter out

" You're joking right? Hah like some prank?" She looked at him her eyes filled of confusion and sorrow, her brave font breaking and tearing away, the thought of all this could be a sick joke drove her in a turmoil of what to believe.

She wasn't used to this, to feel such emotion and to have it be corresponded made it hard to believe, she didn't know what to do nor did she want to taint him with her blood soaked hands. 

" No, I would never fabricate such a macabre antic of a subject such as this." He says

She stays in place petrified, lost for words, she had no idea what to say or do, she couldn't think; she couldn't fathom what's happening all she knew she needed him close to hold her and to make her feel safe. But she coukd not speak or articulate a single word, her mind and mouth in disagreement. Her voice almost stolen by his simple heartfelt words by the man in front of her.

Almost as if he read her mind, Matt made his way towards her and embraced her in his arms holding her close, despite the boy being nervous one thing for sure he wanted his point to be made. 

" Boss, it'll be fine, I like you a lot and I'll be here for you from now on" he says without hesitation. His fingers going through her purple locks. 

She heard those words again, such simple words broke down the wall she has constructed and held strong for most of her life, keeping any emotions at bay away from the exterior world. 

She held him for dear life. The light she yearned to find through the never ending abyss, the dark tunnel that had her captive for so many long years. But now. 

The angel saving this fallen Saint.


End file.
